
Everything is changing so fast it makes my head spin. When I was a kid, televisions were the new big thing. I remember being awestruck when we went from black-and-white TV to "living color," even with limited programs to choose from. Now, we have tiny televisions we hold in our hands with unlimited ways to spend isolated hours staring at a screen.
While all these technological advancements do have their technicolor advantages, we've given up a lot compared to what we've gained. The need to constantly be productive is squeezing the life out of our lives. We're convinced that we need to work on something for as many hours of the day as we possibly can, never taking time for something as lazy as "daydreaming" or lollygagging with friends.
 Life is so rush, rush, rush we've lost touch with the simple pleasures in life. The amenities of old have somehow disappeared, many without notice. That's why I'm on a mission to bring back a few things from days of yore – muffs, nut cups, and social connections.
Bring Back Muffs
Originally intended to be a purse and hand warmer in one, muffs were part of fashion from the 16th century until the go-go 1960s. According to the article A History of Muffs: A Forgotten Fashion Accessory by the London Museum, during the 17th century, men carried muffs too until it was considered to be too feminine 100 years later.
My grandma bought me a muff one year at Easter. It seemed so glamorous! It was made from white rabbit fur with a pink satin lining and had a matching headband and purse. It was so warm and soft to pet. I want a faux version of that again.
Now, our hands are far too busy to be in a nice warm tube. We need our fingers free to do the work. But maybe wearing a muff could be like having a cat on your lap. "I couldn't possibly get you coffee – I'm wearing a muff."
Bring Back Nut Cups
When I was a kid, the way you knew you were at a fancy party was because of the nut cups. I don't remember the last time I went to any function with nut cups, but we should bring that back, too.
Starting as nut dishes in the Victorian era, a little silver dish of nuts and sweets at each place setting to nibble on before dinner or between courses. Since these place settings were expensive, the nut dishes evolved into cups made from cardboard, crepe paper, plastic, and paper, festively coordinated with holiday or celebration décor guests could take home with them. (Here's more about nut cups.)
Nut allergies are probably the reason this amenity disappeared around the 1980s, but we can be more creative with what goes in a nut cup to let that stop us. The best nut cups always had nuts and candy, like the little pillowy pastel butter mints that melt in your mouth.
Bring Back Social Connections
 I remember when women got together for coffee klatches, sitting together in someone's kitchen to drink coffee and talk or play bridge. Men went to bowling leagues and lodge meetings. People came together as a community in PTA meetings and church circles to do good work and make everyone's lives better. People valued social connections. Â
While it's true that the Pandemic put a strain on meeting in person, these connections had already been in decline for decades. A study by the U. S. Surgeon General in 2023 found that social isolation increased by 24 hours per month from 2003 to 2020, and during that same time, social engagement with friends decreased by 20 hours per month, and social engagement with others decreased by 10 hours per month.
 I imagine it's worse now. Many people who isolated during the Pandemic haven't found their way back out of the house since. The fights over political power have us more divided than ever, blowing apart families and long-time friendships. Â
We all need to feel a sense of belonging. It gives us hope. It takes us out of the self-absorption of worry and anxiety to teach us the connection of empathy and compassion. Being around a variety of people who are different than us helps us see the world through a broader lens, expanding our worldview. Besides that, it's just fun to meet new, interesting people.
Social connections are a fundamental human need, as essential to survival as food, water, and shelter. Throughout history, our ability to rely on one another has been crucial to survival. Scientists can predict which communities will bounce back and rebuild from catastrophes faster by studying how connected the people there are. In disasters, it's rarely the emergency professionals who do the rescuing. It's more likely that neighbors will be the first responders in crises.
Now is not the time to isolate, no matter how tempting it is to tuck away into a hidey hole. A lack of human contact makes it easier to let the mind wander into catastrophic thinking and become even more disconnected from people.
We need each other now. We are so much stronger together, and it's going to take collaboration to solve the problems we face as a society. We can start by helping each other overcome challenges by working together. This is exactly what we do at the Finishing School for Modern Women and our social sister, the Badass Women of Wichita Alliance.
Join us
I started the Finishing School for Modern Women nearly ten years ago to bring together women of all ages to learn from each other how to claim our power in business, finance, communication, and life. Finishing School for Modern Women is not your grandmother's etiquette school. We offer empowerment classes to help women grow their authentic selves. Not because we need finishing but because we're never finished.Â
The Badass Women of Wichita Alliance is a social group of bold women that started right after the Pandemic in 2020 to celebrate being alive and having fun. We get together for friendships, parties, discussions, and actions that build community, champion non-profits, and develop our badassery.
I'm excited about the first meeting of the new Wichita Women Business Mastermind that starts this month. I've worked with entrepreneurs as a business development consultant for over 20 years. I prosper. This group is filling up quickly, so email me if you're curious to learn more.
While these are women-focused events, everyone is welcome. We love everyone and don't care what you have in your pants – just in your hearts.
There are many aspects of the past that I hope we won't go back to. But, by coming together as a community, we can nurture a sense of belonging and support among one another to improve our mental health, reduce feelings of isolation, and boost our overall well-being that comes from having a network of people to go to during challenging times.
And believe me, we will have nut cups at the Finishing School's 10th Birthday Party in September.
What do you want to bring back?
Headmistress Jill

Did you know I've published a book? Â Learn more about it here!
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Because We’re Never Finished Â
The Finishing School for Modern Women, located in Wichita, Kansas, offers classes to help women find their authentic selves, not because we need finishing, but because we’re never finished. We bring together women of all ages to learn from experts and each other how to claim our power in business, finance, communication, and life.
To learn more about what we do:
https://www.finishingschoolformodernwomen.com  for our classes and free social membership.
Contact Us
Phone: 316-841-8927 Email: jill@finishingschoolformodernwomen.com
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