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Not for the Fainthearted


In my head, I will always be this woman, although the mirror tells me a different story. Not that I mind getting older. I don't. As I get older, the more comfortable and confident I feel in my own skin. Through this transition, I'm learning to let go of other people's opinions of me - good and bad - and listen to my inner wisdom. I'm grateful for the Finishing School, our co-teachers and our students for that. I'm learning so much - not because I need finishing, but because I'll never be finished.

Still, getting older is not for the fainthearted. Changes to our bodies are a normal part of aging. Maybe it helps us realize that we're mortal and time is fleeting, so we'd better take full advantage of what we have. Unfortunately, it seems we trade physical pain for emotional pain we had when we were younger. I don't like the aches and pains that go along with aging. I realize now that everywhere we hurt ourselves when we're younger, will turn into arthritis later. If I'd have known that, I probably wouldn't have been so demanding with my body, and would have treated myself better.

This isn't the only way I wish I'd have treated myself better. I had an interesting conversation over lunch this week, with two women I am working with on the Know Your Worth conference, that I admire and respect. We talked about what we wish we could go back and tell our younger selves. Here's what we would say:

  • Lighten up! You don't have to be so serious all the time - or hard on yourself.

  • Enjoy the moments! Memories you make along your life, is what makes life worth living.

  • Trust yourself! You had it right the first time, so stop second guessing yourself and listen to your intuition.

  • Take care of yourself first and foremost! You are responsible for your own happiness, so when you don't like something in your life, you can change it.

  • Some relationships are not sustainable! People will come and go from your life, and that's okay.

  • Not everyone has the capacity to have a healthy, loving relationship! No matter how much you wish it were different. Doesn't make that person bad, just not for you.

  • You don't have to be nice to people who are trying to hurt you! Sometimes walking, or running, away is the best thing to do.

Healing from the past to feel more comfortable in our skin also takes strength and isn't for the fainthearted. Part of how we make that happen is by learning to go back and nurture the child within.

What would you say to your younger you?

Headmistress Jill

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